Determination is a Climb

My life lesson today is determination. What makes you want to be a better person? What makes you want to work harder and be the best you can be? What is that deciding factor in your daily life moments that says to you personally, "Go for it!"? Is there something more than just a moment or is it a determination that you wake up one morning and decide to be better, fuller, more than you are?

Today I woke up late. I was rushed and a little tired, but good after a cup of a very nice Moose coffee. A simple word of encouragement led me to further my day by completing long over due tasks. But this was not my moment. This was just my start to another day. My moment came later. Before I begin about that let me rather spend the majority of this blog on my inspiration.

I am writing a book. I have been for four years. It's not a great American Epic or a Gothic Novel the likes of Mary Shelly's Frankenstein, it's more a review of a lifetime of lessons and a process to become a better person. My inspiration for the book came from a deep sadness inside of me that sat on my heart and made it pulse with a life of it's own. I was determined to eradicate this sadness. The only way to do that was to write it down. And that is what happened. I eradicated the sadness by letting it go.

Sometimes letting go is the hardest thing you do. It can be an easy thing to hold unto saddness, but it is the most harmful thing. We must let it go so the happiness can flow in. Life is full of good and bad and you have to find the good because to live any other way is to begin each day with defeat.

Daily life though, my inspirations are different. I have apple juice kisses from sweet little faces and excellent grades to post on the refrigerator, and wonderful craft projects to show off to anyone who will look. I have silly pictures with wide grins, mud pies and curved baseball throws. I have deep discussions about Democrat verses Republican and Young Democrat group theories from a teenage point of view. I have little moments of sleepy downy sheet smelling faces getting ready for Mass. I have little bows in pig-tails and juice box winner car races on the carpet. I have skinned knees and new books read to me. I have stories to tell and prayers to say and promises to keep. I have breath and little breaths of happiness and excitement. I have jumping little feet and running little feet and dancing big feet. I have love.

So as far as inspiration goes I have a lot. I also have a deep seated notion that someone is watching out for me. I also have friends who care and are willing to support and offer a helping hand. I have those shoulders to cry on and laugh with. All in all I am a very lucky girl.

But life is not always optimistic. We have sacrifices and painstaking battles to win. We have mountains to climb and trenches to forage. But what I do have is courage. I never believed it before but my oldest said something to me the other day which made me realise how much courage I really have. She said "Mom, after everything I can always count on you. You are amazing. Sometimes I don't know what you are going to do, but you always manage and you get it done. You keep your promises and you well, you know, you follow through, even when it's hard for you and it makes you cry. You do it because it's the right thing to do. And that's why I am proud to call you my Mom and I am proud of you. I respect you. " Coming from a teenager, I did what any mother would do. I cried.

Like that song my children listen to by Miley Cyrus. "There is always gonna be another mountain, I am always gonna wanna make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battle, sometimes I am going to have to lose. Doesn't matter how fast I get there, doesn't matter what 's on the other side, It's the climb..." It is so true, you just have to keep going on. You have to keep moving on. You have to keep strong. You have to pick yourself up when everything looks hopeless and keep your head up and work through it. You have to climb and climb well.

So that is my life lesson today. I have to keep climbing well. Not just climbing. Not just moving forward, but moving forward well as a better person. Each day is a day to make the world better. Each day is an opportunity to face something hard and overcome it. Each day is a new beginning to show love and be loved in return. Each day is another day to keep getting stronger in your faith.

How we do that, I have an idea. I think we stay based in our faith, lean on our friends and family when we need to and keep doing random acts of kindness daily. When I die I want everyone left behind to say, "She did her best and I am better for it. " Nothing else is important. I want everyone in my life to know how much they mean to me. I want even the homeless man I pass on the street to know that the lady who stopped and gave him a smile and a dollar loved him for being a child of God and a person in his own right. I want to be remembered as the woman who loved the world and tried to make it better.

In my own personal struggles I recognize my weaknesses. I realise my failings. I am striving to be better. I am striving to get better at not making those same mistakes. But most importantly I am determined to be better for those around me. I am determined to love better and stronger. I am determined to be stronger and more balanced in my faith. I am determined to be an excellent mother and friend. I am determined to be a better nurse. I am determined to be a better woman, because my family and my children deserve nothing less.