Disappointment and Adulthood

Disappointment seems to rear it's insidious little head when you think things are going on a good path. Today was a good day. Sure not a perfect day, but a good day none the less. Sometimes things just happen for a reason and sometimes things just happen. I think back to what I have learned as I have grown up and I realise that perhaps I did not start getting intelligent until I was thirty or so. Now that was only four years ago, however I have come to realise that I was rather dumb in my twenties. I liked to think that I knew everything, and I like to think that I had all the answers, but it was quite an epiphany when I woke up one morning and knew for a fact that my learning curve was a bit scewed.

It's not important the events or the reasons behind the events that lead me to this new knowledge, but it is important to know that I realised everyday is a day for an opportunity to learn something new and grow as a person. Funny how when you close yourself off to other's opinions and knowledge base, you close yourself off completely.

I can't say that I am happy with all the circumstances in my life right now, but I can say that I have learned more than I ever would have if I had stayed stagnant and oblivious. However, even knowing that life has its curves and turns does not make the bitterness of regret any easier to bear. Some regrets are taken softly and slowly and you heal from them. Some regrets on the other hand are much harder to swallow and follow you around no matter where you are or who you are with.

So today, I was disappointed. I was hurt and I was upset, but I was also enlightened. I saw a family today with the strength to let go in love, and I saw a family today pull together and put aside their differences to celebrate a very special little girl. Two separate families two separate occasions, but two very special blessings. So I think perhaps my disappointments are just that a little lump in the road. I could use a shoulder to cry on today, but instead I am writing a blog and then going to put together a research paper. I am doing that because I refuse to be disappointed in myself and have more regret. I have a set of goals that need accomplishing and the only way I am going to do that is if I work hard, study hard, and remember the important things.

Sometimes when you are at your worst you discover your best. My best seems to be over coming the lies and heartache others wish to put upon my heart. Forgiveness is the major factor in letting go of disappointment. After all disappointment is an unmet need or unmet expectation. I find that if I only have expectations in myself then I am rarely disappointed. I also find that being so untrusting of others is a very lonely place to be. So I put my heart out there and I realise that these days do happen. I would rather these bad things come so I don't miss even one of the little happy moments and thusly I remove the disapointment from my life.